There are moments in life when you don’t plan to reinvent yourself. It just… happens, usually over tacos. Let me set the scene. I was at TKO Tacos, standing at the counter, giving my name for the order. Simple task. It should take three seconds.
“Lofton.”
Pause.
“Lo…?”
Another pause.
I repeat it slowly: still confused, a respectful attempt, and a completely different name comes back to me. And in that moment, instead of correcting it for the fifteenth time since moving to Spain, I said, “Valentina.” And that was it, that was the birth of my alter ego. Say hola to Valentina!
Valentina was not planned; she was born out of practicality. Lofton, apparently, is a linguistic puzzle. In Spain, it lands somewhere between “Lofón,” “Loston,” and “¿Puedes repetirlo, por favor? But Valentina? Effortless, elegant, and rolls off the tongue like she owns the Mediterranean.
I was living in the Valencia region at the time. Valentina and Valencia sound similar. It made sense; it felt playful, it felt local. Or maybe, just maybe, I glanced over at the wall and spotted the Valentina hot sauce, and that’s where the name came from. Like she had a sudden burst of inspiration straight from the bottle in that exact moment.
So when they called out “Valentina!” and I walked up to grab my tacos, I didn’t feel fake; I felt like me, but Spanish. (jaja)
We think reinvention has to look like a total personality shift; new wardrobe, new career, new everything. Sometimes it’s just letting yourself respond to a different name at a taco shop. Moving to Spain already cracks you open a little. You’re not in your usual environment. No one knows your middle school self, no one knows your old routines, and no one expects you to be the exact same version of yourself.
If you’ve ever thought about softening your edges, becoming more confident, more relaxed, more bold, more feminine, more spontaneous, this is your sign. You are allowed to evolve, and Spain gives you room for that.
Room to:
- Walk slower
- Talk louder
- Stay out later
- Dress differently
- Try new things without your entire past watching
When I became Valentina, even jokingly, I noticed something. Valentina ordered confidently. Valentina didn’t overexplain. Valentina let people pronounce her name correctly because it was easy for them. She blended in just enough, but still stood out. She wasn’t replacing Lofton; she was expanding her. And honestly, I think we all have a “Valentina” inside us. A version that fits the chapter we’re in. If you’re in Spain right now and you feel a nudge to:
- Change your style
- Learn more Spanish
- Be more outgoing
- Date differently
- Start a new project
- Show up more boldly
This is your permission. You don’t need a crisis to evolve, you don’t need approval, and you don’t need everyone from your hometown to understand it. Sometimes all you need is a taco order and a name that feels aligned with where you are.
Lofton is still me; she’s grounded, reflective, and intentional. Valentina is me too. She’s playful, slightly mysterious, and unbothered when someone butchers her pronunciation because now, they don’t. Both can exist, and maybe that’s the real lesson.
You don’t have to erase who you were to step into who you’re becoming. You can layer, you can experiment, you can adjust. You can even respond when they call out a new name and see how it feels in your body. If you’re waiting for a sign to reinvent yourself while living abroad, consider this:
- Order the tacos
- Try the new name
- See who answers when they call it out
So shoutout to the Valencian community and to TKO’s Tacos in Russafa, you birthed a legend.
Love always,
Valentina, American Girl Meets World
